{"id":129,"date":"2020-10-21T00:28:18","date_gmt":"2020-10-21T00:28:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/stories.mysecretdrawer.co\/2020\/10\/21\/become-a-red-hot-cougar-with-these-5-expert-tips\/"},"modified":"2020-10-21T00:28:18","modified_gmt":"2020-10-21T00:28:18","slug":"become-a-red-hot-cougar-with-these-5-expert-tips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/become-a-red-hot-cougar-with-these-5-expert-tips\/","title":{"rendered":"Become a Red-Hot Cougar with These 5 Expert Tips"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The term \u201ccougar\u201d has become a loaded word over the past decade, partly because of the media\u2019s fascination with the dalliances of celebrities like Madonna and Katie Couric. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But beyond the hype, sociologists say the recent erosion of relationship barriers, which isn\u2019t limited to race and gender, actually does appear particularly evident among mature women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

New research shows a demographic shift<\/a> is being driven by the new choices that women over 35 are making as they redefine the concept of a suitable mate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFor a long time we\u2019ve been fed this idea that women should look for a man to take care of her, a man that is more educated, has a better job and makes more money,\u201d says Sandra Caron, a professor of family relations and human sexuality at the University of Maine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut when you look at adult women today, most are self-sufficient and they don\u2019t have to look for that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll find the upshot everywhere. Cougar cruises are setting sail, boomers are gracing steamy print ads, and cougar communities are cropping up online.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Sociologists say the recent erosion of relationship barriers, which isn\u2019t limited to race and gender, is particularly evident among mature women.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How to Become a Real Cougar<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

There is so much cougar excitement these days that we now even have fake cougars and real cougars. So, what exactly is a cougar, anyway?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In terms of age, a cougar can be defined as a woman in her late thirties or older. She is successful, independent, hot, and ready to meet younger men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But being a cougar is more about attitude, sass, and boldness than anything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you own it, you\u2019ll more likely pull it off looking sexier and more seductive than you\u2019ve ever been.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do everything else right and you\u2019ll be on your way to an exhilarating sexual reawakening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That said, below are five choice tips on how to unleash the sexy, stone-cold cougar purring inside of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Be independent. Men will want you even more for it.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

The allure of the mature woman is rooted in being financially and emotionally independent. These days, a true cougar doesn’t need a man by her side to make her feel whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That means, first and foremost, that you should have your own friends, your own hobbies, and your own meaningful career or passion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The younger men you\u2019ll meet will be used to having young girls who are needy and who try to take up all of their time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You’ll show them that you’re different. That is, that you don’t really need them. They will want you more for it, according to experts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYoung men nowadays recognize that older women are adept at diligently juggling so many responsibilities  – career, children, housekeeping, fitness, finances, socializing –  which makes them intriguing and attractive and a more secure option,\u201d  says psychologist and relationship therapist Sam Owen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"These
These days, a true cougar doesn’t need a man by her side to make her feel whole.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

2. Update your wardrobe. Go for subtle sensuality, not overt sexuality.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

One of the most important things to keep in mind is that you should always dress your age. Sure, you can buy clothes from youth-oriented shops, but choose clothing and shoes that speak to your well-earned sophistication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get yourself some sensuous, sexy lingerie<\/a>, as well. Powerful, sexually attractive cougar women wear the latest fashions and styles even in the bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThink Sophia Loren,\u201d says couples-mediator and educator Debra Macleod. \u201cCan you picture her wearing a MILF tee-shirt in her forties? Or sporting sweatpants with the word “juicy” scrawled across her buttocks in glitter?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t have to shop at the most expensive stores. You just need to find clothes that flatter your body and make you look sexually attractive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have drop-dead gorgeous legs, flaunt them. If you have ample breasts, highlight some deep, soft cleavage. But do remember to aim for subtle sensuality rather than overt sexuality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Aim
Aim for subtle sensuality rather than overt sexuality when you upgrade your wardrobe.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

3. Embrace your life experiences. You\u2019re sexier because of them.<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

To be clear, the goal is not to look younger than you really are. Do not attempt to look like someone who could be your daughter. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you dress like a 20-year old, have your hair cut like a 20-year old, and behave like a 20-year old, you\u2019ll look like an older woman who is trying to look younger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You shouldn\u2019t try to be eye candy in the same way younger women are. They are in the midst of their springtime. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve had yours and now you\u2019ve come away all the more beautiful for it. Build on that beauty, don\u2019t hide it.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps more importantly, be genuine and embrace your life’s experiences, including motherhood. Don\u2019t try to play mind games with younger men simply because they lack experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMind games are very much the environ of the younger girl,\u201d says writer and journalist Gareth Rubin in The Telegraph<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPast 40, women are utterly upfront about where you\u2019re going very wrong – brutal, certainly, but an easier way to live in so many other respects.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"You
You shouldn\u2019t try to be eye candy in the same way younger women are.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

4. Get into shape. Take pride in your physical appearance.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

To be a cougar, you\u2019ll need to look like one. That means you\u2019ll need to take extra care of your body. It\u2019s all right not to want to look like a centerfold, but you should take good enough care of yourself so that you project poise and self-assurance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Get in shape by eating well and exercising. Do those crunches. Lift those weights. Being fit is a remarkably effective way to build self-confidence. That\u2019s a crucial component of your cougar charm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOlder women walk in confidence and it shows,\u201d say psychiatrist Dawn Brown and writer Angela McChan in an article for Regain<\/em>. \u201cThe way she talks, listens, and walks screams confidence in every area of her life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Choose a good skin care regime for your face and hands, too. If you have not consulted a professional beautician in a while, now would be an excellent time to start \u2013 even though you already look smashing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Get
Get in shape by eating well and exercising.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

5. Celebrate your body and yourself. Have a boudoir shoot.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Have a boudoir shoot done. Yes, that\u2019s right \u2013 you have every reason to sex it up for the camera.  Go ahead and let a professional photographer and make-up artist make you look and feel your sexiest. Take the occasion to remind yourself of how gorgeous you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is a widely held misconception that only young women are attractive enough to do boudoir photography. That\u2019s just flat-out wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have been thinking about having a boudoir shoot but have hesitated because you think you\u2019re too old, just go ahead and make that appointment. Boudoir shoots are great for women of all ages.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSociety often seems designed to take away a woman\u2019s ability to feel attractive and sexy as she gets older,\u201d says photographer and social worker Stephanie Lynn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKeep your perspective on aging positive and empowering with an invigorating boudoir session.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Go
Go ahead and let a professional photographer and make-up artist make you look and feel your sexiest.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Assuming the Right Attitude<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Sociologists say women over 35 are faced with the tightest \u201crelationship squeeze.\u201d As a demographic, they have the smallest pool of available and compatible men.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The reason is that, as more and more women have delayed marriage, men have retained a tendency to date and marry younger women.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you’re setting out to become a cougar, you should know that you\u2019ll be running against many people’s traditional ideas about how a woman your age should behave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People will likely tease you for going out clubbing instead of staying home. And you are likely to find that women can be crueler than men in that department.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Be ready to shrug it all off. Once you\u2019ve decided to go down the ‘cougar path’, you really won\u2019t have time to dwell on other people\u2019s opinions on what should make you happy, anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever problems you might encounter, try to leave them at the door before you go out. If you’re serious about dating a younger man, you can communicate with him candidly in time. But always try to keep things fun and light when you go out on dates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This doesn’t mean that you should lie if you\u2019ve just gone through a difficult divorce. Be open about the things you\u2019ve experienced, but reserve the serious discussion for later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Above all, stand tall and proud of the mature, classy woman that you\u2019ve become. If that younger man is really worth your attention, he\u2019ll appreciate you even more for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What’s your story? Are you a cougar or a cougar lover? Why not share your thoughts by reviewing this story?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you’re setting out to become a cougar, you should know that you\u2019ll be running against traditional ideas about how a woman your age should behave. Now, are you ready to date younger men?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":130,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_angie_page":false,"page_builder":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[27,42,20],"tags":[171,160,133,172],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fashion","category-female-empowerement","category-seduction","tag-cougars","tag-female-empowerment","tag-feminine-sexuality","tag-mature-women"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/129\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/130"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/espressoblues.com\/stories\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}